MEMORIAL DAY WOMEN

So I had a blast at the club. other than people trying to take pics while I was dancing and me dodging them like Neo from the matrix. It was a good time. One girl at the table was getting married in Sept. For what ever reason she mentioned she got a 60k dollar lexus. And her man this her man that. I was in a good mood so I aint go on her. But I wanted to say I hope you got a 400K House. Hood rich mofo. But I guess thats our culture. Its all about the car. Not the house. Any way she was getting it early on (DANCING) so I was inclined to talk with her but when I started talking to her I guess she was expecting me to try extra hard to get at her. I guess people who dont know me dont know me. Im just natuarally talkative. So she was confused. She was like can u get me a water. Had she been single or not driving a 60k lexus maybe I would have. But it seem like her telling me this was her way of telling me she was happy and to leave her alone. understandable i guess. So I was like you gotta have your hubby pay for that.. HAHAHAH. And she was like never mind. Hey ya gotta give a little to get a little. I mean I dont know you! Funny background i gathered from the snooty chick was she was with her man for at least 9 years cause the have an 8 and 2 year old. I didnt see an engagement ring even tho the wedding is 5 months away and she had paws tats all the way up her thigh. And she doesnt plan quiting the club.





My friend who invited me and I had a little rendeveu back in college. her friend AKA freaky wild girl knew me from my days at PGCC. So i guess women are just as competitive as men cause I got some good dancing with out any effort. Talking to my homegirl later that night she was like yeah "FREAKY GIRL" was like she used to try to talk to you blah blah blah. I was like I seen her in class but we aint have no interaction. MY friend continues, I told her too late I had that. I was like gee thanks. Now im a peace of meat huh. Dont treat me like a man treats a woman ok. It just aint right.. LOL Just thought that was funny. But my friend is no an avid blocker for the woman! She lets everyone know im "Married"



LAST THING

DANCE OFF..

This fat guy was getting it. Hitting dance moves our moms and dads mainly dads were doing back when we werent even thought of. Looking like re run.. Well at one point the whole club was looking at him so I guess he wanted to sice it. Well sice it he did. The bamma went for a cart wheel. That looked more like a tuck and roll i learned in 4th grade gym class.. HAHAHA

OH KK is talking more. She tells her Mom "I LOVE YOU" I guess i dont say it enough to get one. Aint that a #$(*&#). But she does tell me "hi daddy"

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND PRINCE

SO I say terminator this weekend. I went to the movies alone AGAIN! Two weeks in a row. GO ME!! In the process I forgot about a church event that I was supposed to attend.. LOL But It was a fund raiser and i had purchased my tickets so thats what really counts.

Sat Night I go to the club and several funny things happen.

Ill break em down by person rather than any sequence of the night.

PRINCE AKA 8 YEAR RELATION SHIP TIME OUT.

Well prince showed up. I gotta give it to him cause he the only one of the fellas who actually parties. I went because it was a friend of mines b day. She had a table hurray for me. No leaning on the wall. sitting down instead.. LOL

Back to Prince. Once again I had to introduce him with a side comment that he is metro more or less. YOu may think im being mean but every time we go out without fail people ask me is he gay. Even his gf says she gotta watch out for the gay guys more than women LMAO!!! So to save that step I say he metro before they can ask if he's gay. I dont knock prince cause prince be getting his fair share of cute women. Any way.. AS the night goes on One of my freinds friends looked to be having a good time (DRUNK) so I put the bug in her ear prince was trying to holla. Eventually she come over pull him up and they dance. (SIDE NOTE IM ALWATS TRYING TO HOOK SOMEONE UP) Looking like a spanish music video. All intense and ish. but funny. Then they make there way back to the couch or what ever you call it at the club and the two start making out. AS a good friend I made sure I took clear well composed incrimating photos of the make out session. (for a good laugh down the road). So I dont know who camera I used I just hope it dont see the light of facebook.. LOL But the girl was just wild. I had my fun with her too. She was slim so I even got to dance freaky with her. I was the drunk guy dancing with the girl who feet wernt touching the ground legs wrapped around me. Its funny the more you do when you drunk the less you notice those around you. but just standing there you feel like the whole world is staring at ya. So I Lifted her butt up. Hercules hercules.. LOL Note She had to be 110 pounds. Cause I know I aint lifting no one up but for the hell of it I did. I had some fun freaking the drunks but I cant dance so that aint last too long. Now almost all of my friends friends were engaged or married females but they had no problem acting a fool.. Damn shame if you ask me.

Back to prince.

The second prince situation was rather funny. Prince is a very vain and confident person We call him gay all the time and he thinks its a compliment or jealousy.
But tonight that all went out the window. He attempts to holla at a chick. and recieves a funny @$$ rejection.
She told this bamma your cute but your too short.. LMAO!!
Following that another guy who was hanging with us from the table was hollering at a chick and her friend was trying to block so me or prince had to play wing man. Take out the ugmo!! Well we argued back and forth. I was like go get it. he was like you get it. She too tall.. (AMAZING the impact the words of any woman may have on a man. A once overly confident man broken down by the comments of total stranger) Well she starts to pull her friend away from they third guy we met at the table was like help. He didnt say help but men have a language we all understand. Now I know I would have been pissed if my friends aint do there part at this crucial moment. So i went over and kinda dance dwith the chick. Well gave her some attention and she eventually starts dancing. She was tall and skinny. I counldnt do nothing with it. (SIR MIX ALOT OVER HERE). So I try to move her to prince. She look like she was gonna give him the business then prince pulls off. Tells me she too tall.. LMAO..
That chicks comment really f'd him up.

NEXT EPISODE

Third guy tried to holla at another chick. She says she is too tired. We proceed to walk away and she pulls prince hand. Gets his number. Later than night text him to come to her hotel. Prince calls me. .. tells me she want him to come over. I was like have fun. He was like you dont wanna come. NOPE!! Got curfew.. LMAO. The woman say i gotta be in by 3.. JK But really what anyone living with someone got any business getting home after 3. I dunno. he said when he got there she asked was I with him to entertain her ugly friend. Whey cute girls always gotta bring that one friend who just dont cut it!! Its to make ya look better aint it. Well Ill take a L on the dance floor but I wasnt going have no ugmo thinking she was getting any from me. I act up a little. but at the end of the day I act married too. SO i gave up the side chick game. Now flirting is a different road to drive on!

LAST PART

Booked by a man! Im done for the night and just wanna go home So I was like alright fellas i'm out. the third guy we met at the table who friends didnt show up was like hold up. Whats yals numbers.. LOL I dunno. I havent made a new male friend since college. I prob aint really make any in college. All the guys in my phone are from high school unless we worked together so It felt rather wierd giving my number out. Reminded me of that movie "I love you man" going on man dates looking for new friends.

GOD BLESS THE COLLEGE EDUCATED. OR THOSE WITH COMMON SENSE

I was on facebook and someone from high school added me as a friend. I looked at there profile and they had all these booty pics up. The person wasnt too sexy so im like wtf. Anyway I sent a message. Being the ass that I am i said. Hey wassup. and whats up with you taking all the booty pics on the internet. She replied i didnt take these on the internet. I took em somewhere else and put them on here. WOW!!! To all my college buddies smart buddies half a cent buddies. I LOVE YOU! Even when I call you stupid for things you have done. I realized i often take for granted how smart you all are..

Also the other day i was telling the woman I wanted hamburgers for dinner. Out of pure sarcasim I say yeah i want them breaded and battered like chicken. She was like like chicken I say yeah. I seen it on food network. The next day I come home looking forward to my burger and I smell fried chicken. WRONG! It was friend hamburger. Breaded hambuger. I ate em cause I aint wanna cause any fight but they aint taste to great. She only made four I ate two. Then i broke down and said. I was only joking about the breaded burgers. LOL I was like I cant eat anymore you gotta eat the rest. EYCARUMBA!!!

EWW dont touch me

So theres this guy on my floor who is pretty funny. Always full of good stories. Pretty charismatic. And i would say we are pretty cool. Well he usually walks down the hall. HEY HIGH FIVE! reluctantly I would give him one here and there. Until NOw. The other day I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. yes I brush my teeth at work cause I have invisiline and every time I eat I gotta brush. SO im brushing my teeth and he walks in starts talking and makes his way to the stall. He continues to talk. and BOOM sound like he had the supa dupa runs .. I mean flagelence all over the place. So he still talking like he not taking a ish. I couldnt clean my braces fast enough. Well he finally finishes im still brushing. (cleaning up my mess) and he looks into the mirror and fixes his hair and says see in the office. WTF. DId this mofo just take the SH&T from HELL AND AINT WASH HIS HANDS. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.. Funny thing is i told me homeboy about it. he was like white people.. LOL. funny thing is i never mentioned he was white but he sure was.. Now when i hear this guy or walk buy his desk I put my hands in my pocket. That still isnt working cause i just tried my move and he gave me a pat on the back.. WTF up with that. EWW MAN He just ruined our office freindship.. Putting Fices touch everywhere.

CRazy Girl

My homeboy who met a girl at the club 3 weeks ago hit it off and forgot he had a long time gf.  Has been complaining because the girl of 3 weeks wants him to break up with the girl of 8 years. And he is considering. I reccommended that he go talk to his woman and see if  they both have the same goals for the relationship since it seems that they are only together because they dont want to see the other with someone else. 

His woman just thinks they have problems for what ever reason.  She even complains about dumb things so much she cant see the big picture that he has somewhat moved on emotionally due to unhappiness. I dont know how she dosnt think he is cheating cause everytime I call the mofo with side booty. We (the fellas) told him he had it made. He getting away with Murder and complaining he is getting accused of J walking. Shoot Any of us would accept the J walking conviction in  a heartbeat. BABy you got me. I J walked. and Im sorry. Now if you excuse me i got a murder to finish.. LOL 

A PIECE OF ADVICE TO THOSE WHO THINK BUT CANT PROVE THERE MATE IS CHEATING.

THE ABSENCE OF EVIDENCE IS NOT THE EVIDENCE OF ABSENCE. (SAM JACKSON)

We all have a gut feeling that is usually right. Dont ignore it.  You just gotta be tactical on your pursuit. 

Now its not my business to share anyways to catch ya mate but it can be done. LOL

WEll back to the story. The guy gf agrees he is free to do what he wants for the summer. And they have a date to get back together. Will get tested and all and move forward.  I dont understand that one? But more power to my homie for pulling that off. 

But homie fell in love with the side chick so its not like he free. He merely trying to transfer gfs for the summer.  CRAZY!!!  Its like being a freed slave  then going to a KKK member house asking to work for food and shelta. "Yessa sa .I 's a good worka sa."

I wish this was a clause in marriage or dating.  The  4 year mark you get 3 months off to just enjoy. I bet men wouldn't cheat anymore. We would anticipate this 3 month break. WOuld just be saving 4 years at a time. Man i can t wait for my next break. 

SLEEp

Today I sleep caught up to me. I think I run from it to try to have time that I lose from working so damn much. Well i thought i was taking a 20 min nap and end up almost calling it a night.

SOOO!! I had stuff to blog about but once the moment has passed it has passed.

I guess you all can blame one friend for the lack of blogs. They gave advice to improve things with the woman.  So with out all the fighting no much happens around these parks.. YUP

I seen a commecial yesterday for some KY extended pleasure for women gel.

I noticed it was a asian man with his woman in bed. They portrayed his sex life as horrible. Then they used the gel and they both look tired after sex. Im glad im not asian. I mean they get made fun of for having a small gold memeber left and right. South Park, SNL and just in general. I mean maybe its justified but it sucks to be them. Its like you lost before you one. Maybe thats why they  buy all the exotic cars. This was almost as bad as the KFC commercial with a black family having dinner with no dad. SLAP IN my damn face. Thats why i eat POPEYES at least they just think I love chicken.  THey aint sending subliminals around that Im supposed to be in jail or just out of the f ing picture. I go on vacation next week.. WOO HOO. MAybe i will do twitter for that trip only.

Marriage

So Im with the woman and we stop by my moms house on the way back from the mall. Every time I go visit my family with out fail they say. SO whens the big day. I say there aint no big day. They say dont pay him no mind when you wanna get married. I usually give the woman the mean eye at this point. Like dont entertain them. Well this time they made some progress. They always ask whats your wedding colors. And i say shut it. Mainly to my older sister! The woman says I was thinking blue and silver since he like the dallas cowboys. I said time to go. But they kept going so I start calling em out. They claim they gonna pay for my wedding. So I said I we getting married at the gaylord. Your all invited. Cause Im not paying a penny! Trying to force marriage on me. Imma hurt ya pockets. LOL


Facebook is to invasive

After we leave my moms I get home. Now my facebook activity has decreased like 90 percent. Because like a explained before in an older blog. the woman took that away from me when she joined. So for a while i didnt think she looked at what I do but I was wrong. Just the other day She was watching tv and i was looking for homes online and she says. your gf got a new movie. I siad who; Jessica Alba. She says no Laura London. I was like I dont even know what she look like. (I REALLY DONT) She was like well u picked her on fb as 5 women you dream about. I was like that was just fun. I couldnt pick laura out of a crowd. I mean If i seen her i prob would say she fine as hell. but i couldnt pick her out and say thats Laura London. I think this is the reason I dont tweet. The woman was the first person to invite me as a friend on there. What could I really say. Speak my mind and have it thrown back at me with out even knowing i siad somethign wrong. O well

my weekend

How did my weekend begin. Umm at work. Friday Night I was at my part time 4 to midnight. I called the woman to tell her we were going to see wolverine when i got off. KK would be sleep so her mom wouldnt really have to do much sitting. I had bought tickets online. Any way I always needs a baby sitter. But never have one so I invited the womans mom over to stay the night . I dont think she is a good baby sitter because I remember a time she watched KK and when i picked her up it seemed like my poor child took 3 dumps with out being changed and she claims she didnt smell it. Any way I was looking for a simple sitter so I invited her over. So I come in thru the back door and I see the woman on the floor and BAM!!! I SAID BAAAMMM!! THIS MO FO WAS LAYING ON THE SOFA NAKED... NAKED WRAPPED IN A SHEET. THE woman said I siad OH MY GOD! I dont remember I was just like WTF! The womans mom is like 4'11 300 pounds so its just not a pretty site i tell ya. I mean UGGGGG. This happened once before and I was tramatized. I knocked on her bedroom door looking for the WOman. She says come in. ANd BAM! BAM!!!!! She is sittin there NAked. She says she thought Iwas rachel. I said i was blind.
This is why i got the woman a gym membership and stopped buying soda and chips.

So we head to the movies and we get int there. Some teens or young acting 20 year olds were just loud .. like yelling loud. I thought the Hoffman was supposed to be a cool places to see movies espicailly late at night. So the kids are yelling the amc person walks in. A white kid. 17 18 maybe. I looked at his face and it siad: SH$$$$$T!!!! I do not want to deal with these N*GGAS. and trust they were some N!!!!. So he goes and gets the manager. The manager tells them to hush the dont so he tells them to leave. they dont. So he gets the cops and kicks em out. I just for the life of me understand why its always some black kids talking all loud and out of control. I just dont get it. Well i was interupted while writing this so lost my thought.

On to the next topic

I went to blockbusters and saw the black version of Pat. You all know who Pat is. If you dont google it. LOL It was just wierd. I was like is that a man or woman. Then it was behind me in line and it spoke. So I said ok its a woman. I turned around and it had a mustache so again Iwas like damn. what was that. I said its just a PAT.. yup a pat