THE ITIS

Yesterday

I was sitting at my boss desk who is a pregnant black woman in her early thirties. As I was leaving out a white guy in his late 20's early thirtys seemed very professional looks at my boss and says got the itis. In his normal white voice. Almost as if he was asking how was the weather. I mean it was halarious to me. .All i could do is shake my head as I walked away. I came back after he walked off and said did he just ask you did you have the itis... LMAO she was like thats what im still wandering .I coulda sworn its a black thing.. I mean i guess they dont know the root word in which the itis dirived from.. Or maybe our comedians allow white folks to feel as if they have a pass now push come to shove its pretty funny we got white professionals referenceing the itis.. He even had the nerve to say he had it too.. Oh well ..


Also on this day I seen a girl that looked very familiar.. She was the stripper from the bach party we threw for our buddy. Working at the Agency I work at. She happen to be walking in as I was walking out. Being the gentlemen I am I held the door for her as she tried to run by with hopes that I didnt see or recognize her. Of course I did what any man would have done in that situation.
Pulled out some singles and slapped that @ss one last time... LOL JK.. i said poor girl must be ashamed. so I just let it sly and aint call her out like how's it going. Who says im an incosiderate prick..

MORE TO COME.. ME VS THE WOMANS MOM I FORGOT TO TELL THIS STORY

WHITE MAN"S WORLD

QUICK FUNNY STORY

I was walking my long walk from work to the parking garage and I was behind a white man. He was prob in his forties. We were crossing the street when a buss was pulling up behind us about to pull off. A lady was running across towards us trying to catch the bus and waived it down. The funny thing is man seen her running and put his hand up with out looking back at the bus like I got this. I imagine in his head he said BUS! STOP RIGHT NOW! and That it did. LOL the woman got on and the white man never missed a stride in his step. I 'm sure you cant tell this man he didnt do the deed of the year for hailing a bus for a woman.. LOL

Must be nice to have the power to waive down a bus without looking at it.

On another note.

MY WEEKEND

My weekend was rather enjoyable. Rahter than put you thru a long story. Ill give the highlights

1) THe zoo had an extremely long line for the womans restroom and kk had to go potty. Being that she is a toddler. I feel it is ok in the event that there is no family rest room for me to take her into the men's room. And that I did. Another man with a toddler did the same. So leaving out of the bathroom this " " guy walks in with what had to been his 10 year old daughter. I looked at this mo fo like. REALLY!!! REALLY!!!.. IF they can talk they can wait in the womans line.. I tell ya some people couldnt buy a clue if it was free..


Next bowling..

We went out bowling to celelbrate one of my friends b day.. We had a blast. I got a turkey.. Apparently 3 strikes in a row is a turkey.. Dammit what did i have to bowl to get some ribs..
Well Lucky strike was dead empty.. Wierd.. Being a good friend I paid for the lane.. Only to be hustled out of 20 dollars by lil man.. YEAH YOU LIL MAN... Any ways I whooped lil man and the other two pretty bad.. LOL so bad some random white woman started cheering for my hefty friends.. She was going for it making steps and signs. If only i had took a video camera. OR remembered to use the vidoe from my camera.. darn.. Some girls bowl in the lane next to us and one of there names was Lucky Balls. It was no way i could go the nite with out talking to someone called lucky balls. .LOL.. AS the night progressed i went to the club got drunk and crunk and went home and went to bed..

So four friends in the car. One friend best freind is all of our friends from high school. this friend has esentially had sexual contact with everyone more extensively with the heftys. The hefts dont know that me and lil man know of this contact so they often play dumb around this friend. so this frind calls lil man and i talk to her on the phone. I say. we know you been playing us.. LOL I said we all good friends and talk we know you been playing us. HEAFTY 1 and 2 Start to sweat. trying to maintain im just crazy.. girl on phone quiet.. It was funny after a few min i just moved it along.



So we get in the club.. I get my spot on the wall and some chick and her friends come up and one digs thru the crowd and pull me off the wall to dance with her. TO BAD I DONT DANCE NO MORE I DONT DANCE NO MORE. DAUNTA DONT DANCE NO MORE ALL HE DO IS THIS... LOL

Ok i cant dance. Well not while i know i am dancing.. I may take a dance class or something. Because unless its some back that @$$ up music going on I really dont know what to do.. Ok sometimes i can dance but not often.. MAybe im self concious about dancing.. Short people got it made. I mean you can dance your but off and look crazy but since your below I level no one knows... I smile wrong and im suspect.. LOL

In the car one mofo said we should stay in the car and talk. I replied FAGGOT! im going in the club to be with the women . YOu stay if you want LOL>.


SO im texting while in the club and I look up and lil man is trying hook small hefty up with a woman who looked like a HOG. not pig. Hog she had no neck.. But ol girl was faking. .IT was halarious....

I turn around and big heafty is getting his freak on.. Shocking. and the chick wasnt half bad..



Next Im walking thru get stuck so say wassup to the lady next to me. she talk for a min then say are you gay or bi sexual. In my head WTF!! I said what kind of question is that. Well im from SC and i heard alot of men on the DL up here. YOu planning on F ing me tonight is what i should have said. I dunno. I lean back to LIL MAN and say why this chick right here just ask was i gay or Bi.. he says why are you talkingto that ugly B*tch in the first place.. I think she heard him cause I aint see her after that.. LMAO

So Im walking thru with a drink in my hand and some chick backs into me.. then yels at me.. Being a drunk negro I yel back. I dunno what was said. honestly. But I was like get out the walk way..


OH my flag football team won its forth game in a row.. WOO HOO TOO THAT!! YEAH

Pool Party

In the Daunta Liberation front I went to a pool party yesterday.  It was pretty fun. I had alot to write but shoot the story's left my head. But ill tell once instance that occurred that reminded me of Miami. Well as usually my damn friends came up with last minute excuse for why they couldn't make. it. But Danny the new guy me and Prince met at the club rolled with me. I know it sound like it was some kind of man booking but it was a party at a table and we were the only guys there so he hanged with us. Any way the party's going well people drinking smoking. I dont smoke so as soon as some smoke hit me i have an instant headache.. Explains why i never have and never will smoke. plus pops died of lung cancer before I was 5. So weed blacks cigs all out the window for me. Anyway.. Danny pulls me to the side said my stomach ain't right can we go to Wendy's or something. I this point I'm thinking the cook out food was to  strong so i say OK. he like its getting worse. I was like you gotta puke. naw the other one. I said o.. So  we proceed to leave car starting to smell like gas. We see a 7 eleven. Stop no bathroom. Continue nothing insite for mile he said i cant make it i gotta find a ditch. And it was a bridge near so he went in the pushes. Now initially i tried not to laugh.. but by the time the bamma got back into the car  I was rolling.. I couldn't stop laughing.. I have him all the napkins out of my glove compartment and my hand sanitizer. We go back to the party and he goes in to the bathroom to clean up.  Takes 10 Min's. I said why didn't you just go in the house. He said i ain't want everyone to know.. I was like  initial poop. Flush and take ya time and finish.. I said u still spent 15 min in the bathroom so that was just hilarious..

As the night went on I realized Howard was deep. Most of these people grad in 05 06 i  grad DEC 06 so I knew hardly any of them. But some kid from morehouse tried to argue with a bunch of Howard people why he was better.. Wrong moved they ripped this bamma apart. while morehouse and spellmen people tried to make articulate arguments that lead to yelling that lead to Howard people frying them. Having numbers the other college had no change. I mean they clowned them for not being a university..  begin to see Howard pep rally songs and so on.. pretty funny if u asked me. because i didn't look like a bison sitting there.   But more house guy says i let my nuts hang on the world. Howard girl. so what. u got  saggy balls who wants saggy ball nigga.  i mean  they were relentless.  But it was all and good fun and hilarious. I cant describe all that was said. But it was funny and i had a great time. (Side note i stopped social events other than the club on the account of Rae 3 years ago.. ) now that we are moving apart i will enjoy my self...

PEace

Soul Searchin

Today I did alot of thinking and conversing with people about my life. The state that its in. Things that are typically discussed in the blog but truely never in detail needed to fully grasp why I am how I am or how I feel the way I feel. I found the best advice came from two co- workers and my ace's gf. The gf Who known me for 8 years and doesnt really like me or didnt like me for 7.5 of those 8 years Problem came off the most prudent and wise although she enjoys a good drink. Sadly my closest friends advice has been weak! But with that siad. I will likely blog on a more vague basis or about other peoples lives and events more so than my own. Or Ill quit blogging all togther. Join the rest of the 21st century and get on twitter. Hell maybe I started a private blog that is far more real than this one. No cut cards. Well like the late great michael jackson I have nothing more to say. but hell go back and read some of my early work. I think it was funnier at the beggining. LOL

MEAN WHILE I LEAVE YOU WITH THESE QUOTES TO LIVE BY:

The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. (MESSAGE!!!) you know who im talking too!

Never let the right hand know what the left is doing.

He who hesitates is Lost!

No use of crying over spilled milk.

MAN LAW! MAN LAW! LOL

Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.

A man findeth a wife.

Criticizing is easy, art is difficult.

I don’t know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

The mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work unless it’s open.

The best things in life are not things

A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.

CONTINUED

So if you managed to read the last post. You would know im in a love triangle I guess.

Well i think about the third party alot now. 

My fear now that we had sex is. I was the new s550 on the lot

But once she drove it off the lot I lost 20k In value and after a week or so the thrill of having it is damn near gone. Sure others will say damn thats hot but a new void is beginning and you want something else.

If thats the feeling you are going to get you better of just buying some RIMS..

My behavior is changing. Im texting alot freaking more. And the woman keep grabbing my phone, PRIVACY please. I aint harras you when BRandon2 Called. After 10pm. If the woman was cheating now I wonder would i feel anger or relief. There is no doubt before gf2 i had said i was done.  This ultimately resulted in a mental and emotional detachment where we just didnt move out. Truth be told. People thnk we are happy  all the time cause i smile alot but thats not the case.

She takes this condensending tone with me all the time.  Im sure im an ass at timies too but I be trying to improve relations with n korea but they rather shoot missles.

Truth be told the one time I was really done and on my way out the door the woman got horribly sick  and was in the hospital for 2 weeks. Her fam and friends aint visit like that so realisticly Me and KK is just about all she has. So i continue to tough it out. For good or for bad is what some vowels say so maybe tolerence forgivness are things i gotta work on.

The WOMAN is a great mom. but that doesnt make her a great lover to me. I had a friend tell me how she was sacraficing her self to have that nuclear family for her child but was miserable. Now she's free.  Life is differnt but they still living. Her child still knows both parents love her. 

I lost track of what I wanted to talk about so good day...

PEACE

NEW EVENTS

Sat went normal

JULY 4 MARKED MY INDEPEDENCE ALONG WITH THE NATION

DISCLAIMER.. I typed my random thoughts as they came out. Read what you can. I doubt I edit it or put it in order.

4 years ago I thought I had a commitment problem. With that I tried my damnest to stay commited to the woman. I met women here and there but nothing ever came from it other than some useless flirting which was cool with me. Until I met the WOMAN#2. Clearly the fact that she get the WOMAN status in this blog she has become a big player in my life. Well Friday night W#2 Came out to the club. Now we were old friends who recently became new friends and hit it off. To me just having someone refreshing to talk to was great. I had no intent of doing anything wrong. Innocent friend. Maybe some intent was there because I kept my outings private opposed to telling the woman hey this is my buddy we are hanging out. Back to the story. We are hanging having a good time. Dancing. We both had a strong force pulling us together so it managed to pull us to the car. And from the car my 4 years walking the straight and narrow was over.

Any regrets. NO! It gave me a sense of self re assurace. I mean for 2.5 Years i been complaining about a crappy sex life. Could I be doing something wrong I used to think. I mean gosh whats the deal. Well on friday I apparently did some ish right. The stuff I like to do was fun intiment and works great like frosted flakes.

Details of that night.

In the club talking SH T. like Im not gonna kiss you . you gonna kiss me if anything. Face to face like we about to go 12 rounds. (It is easy to talk alot of sh*t when you think you dont have to back it up. i e i never in a million years thought my friend was really that interested. maybe intrigued but for the most part enjoying the newness of us. 

Fast forward

The car. Amazing swag change. if you recall in a previous blog i once found the woman daunting and intimadating while now im sitting there confident in my everymove. Like I ve  been with her already. "own the mind own the body" right. I guess I was mentally on point. So it happend I leaned in and she finally took what she wanted. "OH YES WAIT A MINUTE MR. POST MAN!!

We had a break. Talked. inside i stole a line from andre 3k. ICE COLD TAY ICE COLD.. So things progress I tell her she can take me home. During a pit stop we continue to make out and at 225 a.m saturday july 4th is when it went down. Had we had a bed I prob would have never came home. (This experince made me realize i had no intamacy with the woman at home thus my unhappiness and disconentmeent. My constant complaints about her.  Mean while. Women are generally nortorious for a good fling with my butt. Throughout life I had women and spend a good 3 months with em. Like we were soul mates and then  become total strangers. Thus The woman being the common denomiator in my life. Consistency is one of the greast gifts you can ask for. 

Back to the story.

So after wards she seemed concered about how I felt and what others might think after wards.

Another andre 3k event entered my head. The love below where are my panties skit. " I dont give a damn about her giving it up on the first night. All that does it let me know she knows what she want out of life.' and ooow I just want to lay in her hair.LOL i wish I could read minds. I wonder what she really thought. LIke this mofo aint sh*t. Or he;s amazing. Prob like Well i started something might as well finish it. My friend carries it like a dude so maybe Im just a fling. So making in sudden changes in my life would be unadvised captain.

Some wierd guy in the club would try to talk to her evry time i stepped away. No insecurities here so I wasnt tripping so the third time he did it. I looked at him and he was talking bout her palm then said let me see yours. ''YEs. yess you two were made for each other. YOur both this and that. But if you (me) change she will lose intrest. Your mysterous to her. Her face  somewhat gave that the man knew the truth. And he was african so I called him mr. cleo.

I dunno if he could really read palms but I should have tipped him a 20.. For giving me some back up. Its like i had an extra wing man with me at the club (side note love fridays is offcially over. LUX saturdays is where its at. I think Ill have to start doing park with big A.)

So I think if we never had sex again I'd be fine. If we continued to have sex I'd be fine. So long as I can keep W#2 in my life. Not saying im in the L word but she brings alot of complimentary features in my life that are both terrifying and exhilerating at the same time. Its like discovering you can teleport  anywhere in the world.